Stars In the Sparrows

starsinsparrows:

What if I just turned this into a stupid stuff people do in book stores blog?

Like what if I just talked about all the crap that people think they can and SHOULD pull because being in a book store just makes them feel artsy or whatever. Like, what if?

Like, people don’t even KNOW. If I went down this path there would be No. STOPPING. IT.

Did I ever tell you about the time my boss found a butt plug in the romance isle of the Borders I used to work at?

And she came into the break room to throw it away. And there was this 70 year old grandpa man who worked at the same store who was also in the break room when she tossed it. And then he turned to me and went’ “what is a ‘but plug’?”. And I looked at my boss. And she ran. And I had to turn slowly back around to face him and travel down that lonely lonely road on my own.

What if I just turned this into a stupid stuff people do in book stores blog?

Like what if I just talked about all the crap that people think they can and SHOULD pull because being in a book store just makes them feel artsy or whatever. Like, what if?

Everybody’s a critic.

Everybody’s a critic.

I just realized. Night Vale was officially birthed into the world ON MY BIRTHDAY. Carlos finally returned Cecil’s affections ON MY BIRTHDAY.
This lack of distance between myself and my favorite podcast can’t be simple coincidence. Therefore gentle readers, I have taken it upon myself, after much reflection, prayer and ceremonial chanting to declare myself QUEEN OF NIGHT VALE.
If you do not like it-  you have no choice, as I have already defeated the previous queen in battle and have now assumed control of the hive. The drones have begun to bring me royal jelly and I expect that I shall start laying my first brood of eggs in the next few weeks or so.

I just realized. Night Vale was officially birthed into the world ON MY BIRTHDAY. Carlos finally returned Cecil’s affections ON MY BIRTHDAY.

This lack of distance between myself and my favorite podcast can’t be simple coincidence. Therefore gentle readers, I have taken it upon myself, after much reflection, prayer and ceremonial chanting to declare myself QUEEN OF NIGHT VALE.

If you do not like it-  you have no choice, as I have already defeated the previous queen in battle and have now assumed control of the hive. The drones have begun to bring me royal jelly and I expect that I shall start laying my first brood of eggs in the next few weeks or so.

Oh my. Would you look at these nice bookmarks we got to hand out in the store today. Yes, look how pretty they are. All the good children who buy books shall have one.
Look at how happy the book sellers are handing out the pretty bookmarks to the children.
All is well.
Or is it?


But one of the booksellers just can’t seem to stop giggling inappropriately. 


I shouldn’t be allowed near the YA section. Ever.

Oh my. Would you look at these nice bookmarks we got to hand out in the store today. Yes, look how pretty they are. All the good children who buy books shall have one.

Look at how happy the book sellers are handing out the pretty bookmarks to the children.

All is well.

Or is it?

But one of the booksellers just can’t seem to stop giggling inappropriately. 

I shouldn’t be allowed near the YA section. Ever.

rainbowrowell:

starsinsparrows:

Guess what our St Martin’s rep sent us today~~!

I spent a full ten minutes in my boss’ office doing an omgfreakOUT dance when I managed to grab this one first. I then spent the next five readjusting my bra and pulling up my pants.

You guys have NO IDEA how good this is so far.

Everything about this post makes me laugh, and also makes me happy.

(I can’t wait until we abandon all speech for GIF-based communication.)

Your favorite teen author has just tumbled you.

For god’s sake whatever you do, don’t be a fool about this. Pull it together. You don’t want people to think you’re a dropped head baby or anything. Just put on your normal face.

Guess what our St Martin’s rep sent us today~~!

I spent a full ten minutes in my boss’ office doing an omgfreakOUT dance when I managed to grab this one first. I then spent the next five readjusting my bra and pulling up my pants.

You guys have NO IDEA how good this is so far.